What Not to Say to the Infertile

* Thank you "None in the Oven" for another hilarious take about all the mish-mosh of infertilty!

I know, I know, it is hard to understand what us infertile girls are going through. It is hard to gauge our emotional state and be sensitive about something you might not understand. So, here is  a little list of What Not To Say & What To Say to the Infertile:

1. You guys just need to relax, then you will get pregnant.
Response:  Believe me within the umpteen years we have been trying we have tried to relax.
2. Take a vacation
Response: Yes, as soon as we take a vacation all will be perfect and fertile...NOT!
3. You don't seem to be trusting God in this whole thing
Response:  Yes I am trusting God; but remember I am human just like you and have feelings, sinful in nature, just like you. I will not walk around like a numb zombie pretending that I perfectly trust Him 100% of the time.
4.  Don't you think that maybe God has a different plan for you.
Response: Yes maybe, and overall I am ok with that, but as for now I am trying to pursue each step of infertility prayerfully listening to Him along the way. And just so you know I will mess up, get emotional, stop trusting God, start trusting him, and do it all over again all throughout life...don't you know I AM A HUMAN...not a perfect being.
5.  If I were never to be able to get pregnant I would have been totally fine with that. There are so many things you can do without children.
Response: Good for You. I'm sure your children would love to hear how happy you could have been w/o them.
6.  There are so many children in need of loving homes out there you guys should just adopt.
Response: Just because your infertile friend doesn't talk about adoption doesn't mean it has not crossed their heart. Its just not as simple as you think.- I truly believe that adoption is a ministry, a gift, and so many other things. I also believe in HIS timing above all things and desires.

* (okay, so a little bitterness came out on this list...I reckon it's just something I need to go to the cross about - AGAIN!)


Recently a wonderful women wrote to me, "We must trust his word and know that He IS with you and WILL walk beside you  all the way.  I encourage you that when is all seems too hard, meditate on his words and it will renew your strength." (Boy was she right on!)

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

 Also, listen, encourage, and pray with your infertile friend :) It helps us to know you care.

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