Walk of Hope: Sunday September 29th

Hi Everyone,
Just a reminder that I am walking in the 2013 Walk of Hope this Sunday to show my support and to break the silence of infertility!
If you want to walk to show your support I would love some walking partners! Walking costs only your time. Here are the details:

Join Us in Irvine for this Inaugural Event!

 
When: Sunday, September 29th
Where: Aldrich Park, Irvine, CA
Registration will begin at 8:00 AM and the Walk begins at 9:00AM. All Walk activities will be completed by 11:00AM.  This event is dog-friendly.

NO ONE WITH INFERTILITY SHOULD WALK ALONE!

What Comes After Failed IVF?

Everyone has a different answer to this tough question: What comes after failed IVF? Currently, Mr. C and I are not sure at this point and that is okay. So, from a gal that got a big fat F in IVF/FET101, please remember to give your infertile friends time after failed IVF/FET. Please remember that everyone moves forward at their own pace. Please remember that some of us failed IVFERS might decide to live without children, some might decide to research foster care, surrogacy, or adoption, and some might decide to do another round of IVF. Please try hard not to judge your infertile friends decisions. I know its hard because you want them to have their desires too, but just remember that when they are good and ready they will make a decision that is best for them.

Personally I am praying that He gives me faith to wait on Him for an answer. I am trying to keep my focus on Him and not on this fleshly desire of mine. I believe in Him, I believe that this is not my home, and I believe that he will answer me.

Waiting on Him,
Mrs. C

Beta Day 10dp5dt

BFN
Big Fat Negative
Negative
Nada Enchilada
Nope
Nothing
Unaffirmative
No
Opposite of positive


Okie dokie, now that I got that out...  Dear Father Above who loves me soooo much that sometimes You answer my prayers in ways that my flesh does not understand quite yet. And I assume (or maybe I hope) that the day I will understand, I will not care, because I will be basking in Your ravishing love. I praise You right now for my husband, my family, and my friends, but most of all I praise You for the cross. I praise You today, through my tears. I praise You for giving me hope in eternity, for the joy that still resides in my heart tonight, and for the rest I find in Your promises.

Your Daughter,
Mrs C.

My Armour

I POAS this morning...bfn (big fat negative). I am 7dp5dt (7 days past 5 day embryo transfer) with our two precious embryos. There is now only a very very small chance we are pregos.  We have a blood test on Monday to confirm.

I am sad but I am also determined! I will not let my heart harden this time. I will not fight His will. I will ask Him to use my heart to be a mother in His way. I will ask Him to humble my heart. I will ask Him for mercy to get through it. I will lean on Him to heal me.

By His grace alone I stand firm today,
Mrs. C

Emotionalville

Imagine a place where all your wonderful FEELINGS surface all at the same time. Where one minute you are skipping on clouds and the next you are drudging in dirt. Ahhhhh, emotionalville. A lovely place where us IVFers get to spend a little over a week. Pumped full of more hormones than we are meant to handle, bruised on the booty from all the shots, TRYING to stay positive, and WAITING - just waiting.

I am currently 3dp5t ( 3 days past 5 day embryo transfer). So far, our FET feels different from our IVF#1. I have less meds in me - Thank You Lord -, less "symptoms", but about the same amount of emotions.

Symptom List:
No sore tatas like last time.
A little crampy
Thirsty as all heck
Fabulously emotional

Laughing, crying, and waiting in Emotinoville,
Mrs. C

What to expect on FET day

We arrived at our doctors office at 845am. After signing a few consent forms my vitals were taken and we walked over to the procedure office down the hall which is my Favorite place!! So tranquil with mellow-positive-feeling music playing, a running fountain, and soft hues and textures. After a few minutes we were sitting in Dr. Operas office looking at our beautiful embryo pictures. Hurray they both looked good and each got a 3BB grade.  Doc Opera explained that they could turn into 3 or 4 babies and we had to sign a consent saying we were aware of that. Next came the transfer. It was soooo much easier  and less uncomfortable than our first Ivf. Our doc found a nice thick pouch to point them towards. 10 mins later I was resting for the 30 min standard. We got our post-care instructions, a wheel chair ride downstairs, and by 11:17 we were headed to my rents comfy-cool home for a 2 day bed rest. Now the dreaded TWW begins. Usuually our Doc tests after 8 days but that will land on a Sunday so 9 days it is...
9 days and counting,
Mrs.C

PS: I wore a long comfy black maxi dress on transfer day and it was perrrrrfet! I only had to pull it up and pull it down. No messing with all the possible undergarments and, It didn't hurt to feel pretty in a dress on transfer day too.
PSS: I had a pre-transfer day melt down. I'm pretty sure the hormones were kicking in and maybe a little anxiety, although I'd hate to admit that. I immediatey called on my awesome support system for prayers and I would highly reccommend to anyone to do the same in any time of need. Scores of texts came in leaving me full of smiles, peace, and lovin'. Luv you all!

To the Left, to the Left

You know the words girls, "To the left to the left. Hmmmmm, to the left, to the left, everything you own in the box to the left." Beyonce has been chiming in my head non-stop the last 48 hours and not because I'm bumping to R&B on the way home from work. No; "to the left, to the left" is coming to mind due to an annoying itchy left tata! I don't know if it is a progesterone side affect or what but it is driving me MAMAMAMA MAD MAD WORLD. Sorry, now that that song is coming into my head.

Of course I consulted Dr. Google about the itchy tata and it seems, according to many other "patients", that itchy tata can be a progesterone side affect. The glorious Trader Joes coco butter lotion seems to help temporarily but as soon as I think it is gone I start feeling a lovely tingle in mid-customer conversation. It's quite fabulous - and I mean fabulous with a lowercase f!

Two more days and counting :)

Mrs. C