It's 3am and I'm Awake

It is 3:30am the morning of our 1st Embryo Transfer :) and I am awake - Bummer.  As much as I would like to tough it out and pretend I'm all good, the progesterone/PIO (progesterone in Oil shots) side affects are starting to take a little toll. I am - TMI - totally backed-up ( to put it politely), my tatas hurt, a bit grumpy, and the injections sites feel bruised making it hard to get comfortable.  Supposedly, (people like to remind me) some of these physicality's are common early pregnancy symptoms which I will gladly take on - when I am actually pregnant.  Its a funny thing in the infertile world. I don't know what it is but many like to make me aware that I should just get used to these physical and emotional things because, "its not going to get any easier." One of my other not-so-favs is when peeps present to me their kids and say (in front of their kids) "are you sure you don't want to reconsider" or "want to borrow mine to make sure".  Yes, someone literally pulled their kido in front of me yesterday as asked me if I want to reconsider going through with it all because their little one was grumpy.  I know these lovely people do not mean harm so I usually can let is slide pretty quick.  I also know and truly believe that being a parent is the hardest job on earth so I'll give them all some slack because hopefully I'll need that slack some day.  Although sleeping through the night would have been welcomed I am cool with being awake right now because I have 2 days complete bed rest ahead of me - plenty of time to sleep! But enough about that.

As soon as my minor physical ailments faded this early am I began thinking about Hannah. I woke up not thinking about how God blessed her with children, but about how HE recognized and included Hannahs' barrenness, and therefore grief in HIS Living Word. Then, I started thinking about Jesus walking the earth just as we do. Man! Sometimes I just can't believe how much HE loves us. How precious to be loved so much.

Anyway, enough thoughts for this early hour. Time to watch an old black and white and try to fall asleep, or at the very least watch the minutes go by.

Toodles,
Mrs. C